Why Speaking Less And Listening More Can Help You Get What You Really Want.

When it comes to negotiating, many think the key is having the perfect words lined up to secure that immediate yes. But the real power often comes from pausing, asking thoughtful questions and truly paying attention to what’s being said and that’s often where the real deal begins. In one of our recent episode of Success Thru Connections, negotiation expert David Goldwich shares his go-to strategies for approaching any deal with confidence.

They are easy for anyone to use, no matter how experienced you are just simple, practical steps to get better results.

1.Start With Preparation

David’s first rule is nothing beats the power of solid preparation. Before any negotiation, ask yourself:

• What exactly do I want from this deal?
• What does the other side likely want?
• If this doesn’t work out, what are my alternatives?

David explains that too many people assume they “know how it will go,” but he emphasizes, “You never want to wing it.” Even seasoned negotiators achieve better outcomes when they take the time to prepare.

2. Remember Back-and-Forth Isn’t Losing, It’s Part of Winning

Many people see counters and “nos” as failures, but David turns this around where he describes negotiation as a careful give-and-take, explaining that “hearing a few nos before you finally get a yes usually means you’ve pushed just enough to get the best possible deal.”

Rather than rushing for agreement, see the process itself as building value for both sides.

3.Confidence and Psychology Matter More Than You Think

“If you believe you’ve got the power, then to a fairly large extent, you do,” says David Goldwich.

Stepping into a negotiation believing you have little bargaining power makes it easy to settle for less. But when you pair solid preparation with believing in yourself, you can negotiate confidently.

4. Learn to Listen More Than You Speak.

Research shows the best negotiators listen about 60% of the time and speak about 40%. David explains:

“When you talk, you don’t learn anything. When you listen, that’s when you learn.”

Ask thoughtful questions, repeat them differently, and notice inconsistencies. The more you learn about the other side, the better you can find creative solution.

5.Turn Ultimatums To Opportunities

Ultimatums can feel like dead ends, but David offers this workaround, which is introducing option C.

When someone says, “Take it or leave it,” they’re limiting the conversation to two choices. Therefore, when by adding a new variable you keep the negotiation alive and gives them room to reconsider

Final Takeaway: Don’t wing it- Prepare, Listen and Adapt

Negotiation isn’t about overpowering the other side; it’s about thoughtful preparation, open-minded listening, and staying flexible when new information comes up.

So before your next negotiation, prepare thoughtfully, explore what matters to both sides and remember: Real success comes from creating value together not just pushing for a quick win.

 Want more insights like these?

Hear the full conversation with David Goldwich on the Success Thru Connections podcast. It’s packed with practical tips on negotiations. Listen to the episode now!